When your legs don't work like they used to before
by wolfypuppypiles
Summary: Bellamy is left Paralyzed after Mount Weather and Octavia and Clarke help. Inspired by Hal and Maggie in Falling skies when he asked her for a dance when he was learning to walk again. Title from Thinking out loud by Ed Sheeran.
1. Chapter 1

Clarke let out a contented sigh as she made her way to the new recovery tent next to the med station. The camp was coming along nicely with new buildings being raised all the time.

There was still a lot to be done and Clare knew that Bellamy was getting antsy about wanting to help but there just wasn't much that he could do from his wheelchair.

He still got help out in the armoury and he definitely wasn't useless but he couldn't protect his people like he wanted to, and it was driving him crazy. He had whispered to her, between breathless kisses, that she and Octavia were the only reason he hadn't given up yet.

Walking into the recovery room now Clarke smiled even wider in pride as she saw Bellamy shuffle through the room with Octavia close behind him with hands in his hips should he fall. Raven had made leg braces to hold the soldiers leg straight until he could support them himself on the crutches that she also made.

Clarke and Abby both agreed that Bellamy was doing very well with his progress especially since when they had found him, strapped to that table in Mount Weather, he hadn't been able to move his legs at all.

It had been hard for Bellamy to accept help from people when he was so used to being the 100's leader. Miller helped out a lot to do the heavy lifting of Bellamy to his chair when he couldn't himself but when he was training it was just him and his shaking arms shuffling him across the room.

He had done a lot of healing in the last five months and Clarke was so proud of what he had accomplished.

Bellamy looked up as she came in and the hard lines of concentration melted off his face to make way for a sly smile.

"Hey Princess, why don't you come over here and give your injured soldier a kiss." Octavia groaned from behind her brother.

"Ugh gross Bell I'm right here you know." She pinched his sides a little, tickling him enough to make the man laugh and pivot towards her.

"What do you think you're going to do if I do fall over? I'd knock you flat O."

The girl scoffed and held Bellamy's sides more firmly. "I can hold you up Bell. I'm pretty strong now you know. Stronger than those skinny legs of yours."

Clarke held her breath at the joke not sure how it would be received but as usual the Blake siblings amazed her at how well they knew each other.

Bellamy only laughed, and shook his head. "Yeah I guess I skipped leg day."

"Well we have your leg stretches today and I was thinking of heading to the river, it will be good to get you swimming."

Bellamy turned back towards Clarke and smiled again. It was the sort of smile that he saved for her usually in the privacy of their shared tent. It was a look that made her melt every time.

"How about a dance instead Princess?"

Octavia rolled her eyes good naturedly as Clarke idled up to the man and slid her arms around his waist.

The younger Blake waited till Clarke had a firm hold on Bellamy before she let go of him and left, not eager to witness the sickening amount of PDA that was about to go down.

"I'll see you guys later. After you finish making love ugh." Secretly she was happy for the two of them. They were good for each other.

Clarke looked up at Bellamy as she felt the strong muscles of his back move under her hands. "Did you work hard today?" She pressed closer to him, her face against his neck to hear his answer rumble up from his chest.

"Of course. I walked to Raven and Wicks workshop with Octavia, they weren't busy doing work if you know what I mean."

Clarke laughed and scrunched her nose. "Eww. I'm glad I wasn't there for that."

"I'm glad you're here now."

Bellamy looked down at her with an almost unreadable expression except Clarke knew him too well now to let him get away with what she knew lay underneath.

"What's wrong?"

He sighed and smiled but the blonde could see the sadness in it.

"I want to dance with my arms around you." He gestured a little to his hands which were gripped firmly around the handles of his crutches, holding him up instead of around her waist where he wanted them.

Clarke wrapped one arm around his waist to use the other to take the crutches from him.

"Then let me hold you up for a while." Without his crutches Clarke was keeping him balanced on his braced legs and Bellamy happily wrapped his arms around her.

The two swayed and shuffled a little in their 'dance' and Bellamy hummed as he pushed his nose to her hair.

"I love you Clarke." He pressed a kiss to her forehead and Clarke tipped her face up to mumble against his lips.

"I love you too my handsome soldier." She could feel his smile in their kiss and she knew that she was smiling too.


	2. Chapter 2

Bellamy rolled his way over to the camp gates, being careful to avoid the muddier patches as he hurried to where Miller and Clarke were waiting for him. They were planning to discuss the issue of new guards for the wall and who was going to train them. Clarke suggested he and Miller take the job and was planning to take the matter to the next council meeting which Clarke and Bellamy would attend as usual.

Nearing the gate, Bellamy heard Miller talking in his usual charming tone that he used on all the girls but as he rolled around the corner to greet them he saw Clarke laughing at whatever Miller had said. They were standing too close to each other for Bellamy's liking and then Clarke's hand found Millers shoulder, fingers brushing against the collar of the guard's jacket and everything went red.

Bellamy's knuckles burned, begging to punch something, as he skilfully turned his chair away from the scene in front of him and sped away.

Of course Clarke would find someone better, why wouldn't she? She couldn't wait around all day waiting for him to man up. He was weak, broken, and useless. He had been so stupid to think that she would stay with him

Unaware of where he was going Bellamy found himself at the recovery tent and sped to the corner for his braces but was stopped by someone's hand on his chairs handles.

"Hey speedy what's the rush? I thought you were going to meet up with Clarke and Miller this morning?" Octavia walked to the front of his chair but Bellamy shook his head, jaw clenched.

"I need to get to my braces O, either help me or move out the way." He didn't want to be in the damn chair anymore.

The girl crouched down in front of him, placing her hands on his knees.

"Hey, what's the matter Bell? Did something happen?"

The anger from before was starting to melt away and the agony of sadness came instead. Of course he wasn't good enough for her.

Desperate to get out of his wheelchair, Bellamy braced his hands to the arm rests and shuffled forward, prepared to get out of the chair with or without his sisters help.

Octavia tried pushing the soldier back into his seat when Clarke came into the room.

"Hey I was wondering where you got up to. Did you forget we were gonna meet Miller at the gate?" Bellamy huffed out a bitter laugh.

"Oh I didn't forget. I just thought that you might like some alone time with Miller seeing as you too were getting along so well. And while he's taking my girlfriend why don't we just give him my job too since he's obviously more useful to you. Tell him he can have my seat on the council."

Clarke's easy expression crumpled into confusion as she took a seat in front of him. Octavia took her leave, patting her brother's shoulder as she passed, letting the two have some privacy.

"Bellamy what are you talking about? Why are you getting worked up?"

The man sat back in his chair, and gripped his thighs wishing he could just storm out of the tent.

"I saw you and Miller at the gate. You too looked pretty comfortable talking so close and getting all handsy. You know, I get why you'd like him Clarke he's strong, a good leader, he's not in a damn wheelchair-"

"Bellamy, Miller and I were just talking and you know I don't think there's anything wrong with you being in a wheelchair-"

"You think I don't try? You think I don't wake up every morning ready to get out of bed until I remember my legs don't work anymore? You think I don't hate those mountain men for what they did to me? I'm trying Clarke! I want to be everything I can for you, I want to be able to protect you and provide for you but I can't! And I know I'm not good enough but-"

The tears were making their way down Bellamy's face and his breaths were coming in hiccups now making it too hard to keep talking.

He wanted to be strong but it was so hard when he still had nightmares about the mountain and he knew, every time Clarke looked at him, she saw his half dead body strapped to the table where she found him.

The past months had been hard on everyone, Clarke had nightmares too but Bellamy knew she was trying to be strong and all he could to help was hug her closer as they slept.

Clarke was shocked at the confession. After all they had been through she thought he would have trusted her more. But she knew she couldn't be angry at him for what he had suspected of her because that wasn't the issue. Bellamy didn't question her loyalty he just didn't think he deserved it.

Seeing him loose faith in himself broke her heart.

Clarke had her hands over her mouth and was crying too as she moved forward to sit closer to him.

"Oh Bellamy of course I know you try. I see you trying every day and I'm so proud of you for how far you've come." She took hold of his hands, gently uncurling his clenched fingers to squeeze them instead.

"I have never thought you weren't good enough. I love you Bellamy Blake and I would never look at you and see anything less than the strong, good man I first fell in love with. I promise I wasn't doing anything with Miller and I promise I don't love you any less because of your injury."

Clarke pulled Bellamy into a hug and held him as he shook in her arms. The medic rubbed his back and ran a hand through his curls as she whispered to him.

"I love you so much Bell."

Clarke could feel him mumble "I love you too." Into her neck and she waited for him to settle down before letting him go.

"Alright, now do you think we can head to lunch and see Miller after we eat?"

Bellamy wiped his face and gave Clarke a sheepish smile.

"Okay, but how about I give you a ride since I ditched you at the gate?"

Clarke pecked a kiss on the soldier's cheek and happily sat on his lap as he wheeled them to the dining hall. She knew he might be doing it to make a sort of show of them together just to make sure nobody got any ideas about flirting with her again so she kissed him hard on the mouth right at the table. He was smiling pretty wide after that.


End file.
